LAST WORD

SEPTEMBER

September Window Shopping

OUR PEOPLE

The driving force behind golf in Northland

Pressing matters

FASHION

2015 Fashion in the Field Winner Carena West shares the key to her success

Bernina Northland Fashion Awards 2016

Fabulous spring

Fashion in the Field at the Ruakaka Races

Live it, Own it, Love it

The ultimate beach wardrobe

BEAUTY

Do You Suffer From Fine & Thinning Hair?

Gain freedom from unwanted hair

HEALTH

Eyelid problems

One big happy family

The all or nothing approach to fitness: don’t sabotage your good intentions

What would your future self say?

WOMEN IN BUSINESS

Helping small businesses succeed is our passion

Trust us to take care of your fur babies

HOME TRENDS

Achieving a premium result in the sale of your property

Get the most out of your POOL by caring for it properly

Perfect colours for low-light rooms

The great indoors by Weathermaster

We’ve got your back

Spring cleaning

GARDENING

Are you sick of rabbits, hares or possums eating your plants?

Plants make me happy

BOOKS

Books with Annemarie Florian

LOVE IT HERE!

Whangarei in Pictures

There is something very special about sharing food together

MOTORING

Peugeot Speedfight 3 Scooter: toot sweet, it’s a hoot of a scoot

ARTS

Collective marketplace

Two great new shows

LAST WORD

How can we change what has become a habit?

Kids need fresh air

School is punishment if you don't get ready for school

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School is punishment if you don't get ready for school

BREAKING DAD - Parenting column by Michael Botur

C’mon, up you get, we’re late. I’m opening these – why is there porridge on the curtains? No I’m not putting on a DVD. When I was a kid, we had to watch whatever TV2 offered us. I don’t care if the Girl Wiggle scares you. She’s fiiiine. Don’t tell mummy I said that. What do you want for breakfast? Er, orange-and-mango isn’t a fruit. They’re two separate fruits, neither of which we have, except in juice form, and you’ve had enough juice this week.

What? Yeah of course you can have an orange for brekky if you want.

No you can’t have it in juice form. Fruit is, uh, completely different to fruit juice.

YOU WILL FINISH THAT ORANGE OR YOU’RE NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY.

Okay, I didn’t mean that – you WILL finish your orange and you WILL go to school today, ‘cause school’s your punishment for –

Wait, scratch that. School’s not punishment. School’s a treat.

GET. IN. THE. CAR. NOW.

Why are you getting naked? I know I said last week you can’t leave the house without changing your undies, but – STOP. TAKING. YOUR. CLOTHES. OFF.

Yes you can sniff your undies, God. Whatever helps.

Do the undies smell alright? Thought so. Put them back on. I stayed up real bloody late tidying your clothes up off the floor. I’m not opening your drawers ever again. I’m gonna nail them shut. Your room’s gonna be a museum.

No you can’t stay home and study in your museum.

Ahh. Bliss. This is nice. These drives to school: happiest part of my day, y’know. Who, this guy here? This is Michael Jackson. Some people think he’s corny, but he’s not. He’s the king of Pop rock and soul.

Corny means lame.

Lame means someone can’t walk.

QUIT ASKING QUESTIONS. Out you get, we’re here. What undies? You don’t need more undies. You put them on bef– HOW COULD YOU HAVE GONE FROM USED UNDIES TO NO UNDIES?

Out you get. Love you. See you at 3.

- Michael Botur is a Whangarei writer.

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